In psychotherapeutic counselling for couples, it quickly becomes obvious in which situations a couple becomes involved in their protective patterns, which can later lead to their divorce. These usually well learned behavior patterns have helped in childhood to secure one's own life. For a long time, it was unnoted that children not only develop their own protective patterns, but also copy the relationship behavior of their mother or father. These behaviors will later be brought into their own relationships. In many years of clinical experience, three reasons for the copied behavior have been discovered and named, which deal with the nature of attachment to the respective parent. In this lecture, we present these three reasons and show how resource management can be done in couple counselling and how a resolution of this topic with father or mother can be achieved.